Julie: It seems like everyone has a nice rack in my neighborhood. I mean there is a lot of money invested in the silicone industry around here but I can’t help but wonder if all this perkiness is going to go out of style. To me, these abnormally round and firm boobs being flaunted by the 30 and 40-somethingladies are a bit alarming. They often look so painfully taut. And what about that weird gap in the middle? I’m sorry but that’s not the way real boobs look.

Don’t get me wrong. I can’t say that I’ve never considered getting a boob job. I had the most perfect C-cup boobs one could ever ask for before I gave birth to my two beautiful boys. With each child, the fun bags got a bit less fun. Now those perfect C’s have become less than perfect D’s. I’ve gained 25 pounds with at least 5 of those pounds going straight to my chest.

I thought a boob lift would be nice. I obviously don’t need bigger ones but it would be great if someone could just put em back where they belong! So I went online to see how it’s done, looked at some before and afters, and got the lowdown on new boobs.

Well, that pretty much ended my brief romance with implants. Turns out you can’t just get a lift. You have to get the implants and then, to get the boobs situated in the right direction, they have to slice a big inverted T shape below the nipple or totally remove the nipple and sew it back on! I’m sorry but those before and after shots were not very good for marketing. Yes, the boobs all looked terrible before. But the after photos were even more horrific! Aaaaah! The scars were nasty. Those boob lift boobs looked like Raggedy Ann’s face. No thanks.

Now if you have small saggy ones, you can probably get away with just the implants and not the lift. But look at Pamela Anderson and all of the Real Housewives of Orange County before you decide what’s right for you. And then remember that it’s surgery. Surgery is serious business. And if you have kids, what kind of message are you sending to them about self-esteem? I’m just sayin.

Now when my kids are older, and I’m just plain old, and I probably won’t care much if I drop dead on the operating table being that I’m old, and I decide that my rock socks need to go…then maybe, just maybe, I’ll consider going under the knife for vanity’s sake.

Kim: Speaking as a member of the small and saggy club, I’m so glad you touched on this topic Julie. I have been going back and forth about this for years. Even before my not quite large enough but perky B’s totally inflated to enormous D’s after giving birth to both of my lovely girls. At that point, I had a taste of what it was like to have some bigguns and I gotta admit that I liked it.

Unfortunately once I was done breastfeeding those bodacious jugs that Bob and I loved so much totally deflated. Even more sad, they were not only back to the not quite large enough B’s, but they were no longer…gasp…PERKY! That’s when I really started to seriously consider my alternatives. How much would it cost? How painful would it be? Under the muscle or over? How long before I would have to have them redone (and yes, apparently they need a touch-up every decade or so) and how in the world would I explain my sudden…ahem…perkiness and girth to my friends and loved ones? Worse yet, MY DAUGHTERS? Julie was so right about how important it is that we consider the message we are sending to our young people.

Bottom line, anyone considering this procedure should do their due diligence and consider all of the pros and cons. Check out www.realself.com where real women who have been through it give their two cents.

The more I thought about it the more I realized that it would be a lot cheaper and a lot less painful to go buy pretty Miracle Bras from Victoria’s Secret. Now I guess Julie and I are what you’d call some real OC Housewives! Then again Jules…they’re running a two for one special in a clinic down in Tijuana!

Never mind…I rest my case.